The team of communication gurus at SquarePlanet can really do some amazing stuff.  This little group of hard-working, smart and observant people can quickly assess and offer quality suggestions for improvement to most any communications vehicle. Oh sure, the easy ones are the types of projects we do all the time:  meeting content, pitch competitions, corporate messages, keynote speeches, websites, etc.  We can crack the code on that stuff faster than a microwave can heat up a burrito.

We see that kind of material all the time, so when tasked with developing actionable and inspiring messages in those areas, we’re fast and we’re good. Rarely stumped, we’re all over it.  BOO-YAH. We’ve also been known to log many a travel mile, achieving a level of Silver, Gold and Platinum status with most of the airlines, hotels and car rental companies across the land.  From Paducah to Portland, we’ve been around and certainly seen our fair share of good, bad and downright ugly. On a recent trip to San Diego and the Hilton Bayfront (side note; I gladly accepted a room upgrade with water view, free internet and bottled water, thank you HiltonHonors) gift shop the stumping began.

Upon reflection, I should have been stumped long before. At SquarePlanet we proselytize that a presentation is any opportunity that engages people with the desired outcome being a change in their beliefs, behaviors or both.  Whether it’s a first date, asking your boss for a raise or standing in front of industry colleagues on a stage with slides, it’s about shifting beliefs and behaviors.

Well, the hotel gift shop is engaging in an all-day presentation.  Sure, they are offering a series of commodities, but they are attempting to shift your beliefs and behaviors.  They are trying to get you to believe you need what they have.  Then, they are trying to get you to hand over your money for their goods.  By definition, this series of actions is a presentation; they are trying to shift your beliefs and behaviors. I think it’s widely known that many hotel gift shops are owned and operated by a third party purveyor.  It’s likely the owner leases the space, owns and stocks the inventory and profits by selling said inventory at a ridiculously-insane-you’ve-got-to-be-kidding-holy-shit-crazy-insane-I’ve-gone-loco high price.

This is where the stumping kicks in. I mean seriously, WTF hotel gift shop owner dude?  Does a small tin of Altoids really cost $6.99?  Does a bottle of reverse-osmosis purified water made by the local Coca-Cola bottler really need to be $4.99? Sure, I get it.  We’re paying for convenience.  When I forget my toothpaste, I can simply come down to you and get gouged at $6.50 for a little, teeny-weenie sized tube that lasts maybe four squeezes. SARCASM ALERT >>> thanks for helping me out with the Crest gift shop owner dude, I was certainly in a pinch, I can’t imagine life without your awesome customer-centric business. This kind of presentation is one that does something TO versus FOR the person or organization that’s offering it’s knowledge, service, goods, etc.

Look at this way, does anybody emerge from a hotel gift shop happy and excited to share with others how awesome the experience was?  NEVER.  It’s brutal and feels terrible. Sure, painting with a broad brush here, but aren’t the clerks almost always grumpy?  Aren’t the stores stuffed to the brim, mostly with junk nobody needs?  And the snack selections fine, if you are person who believes Funyuns are an actual vegetable and Oreos are a stand-alone food category.

Even the most inexperienced hotelier is focused on brand awareness, and every little detail counts.  From clean rooms to friendly front desk staff to professional photos on the website, hotels are famously gurus of brand. Generally speaking, the hotel gift shop experience is painful, expensive and lackluster.

So answer this for me, why do the hotel owners allow this?

Yes, because we inherently understand the gift shop is independent of the hotel, there is a certain measure of insulation between the two parties- there is a degree of culpability that permeates. I know this, if I were in charge, it’d be WAAAAY different. Imagine a gift shop with one-third of the offerings.  Imagine a pricing strategy similar to those you’d expect at a retailer like Walgreens or CVS.  Imagine well-trained, happy service reps who appreciate your business.  Finally, imagine every transaction punctuated with a pre-printed card with an appropriate and uplifting thought. I believe hotel owners and hotel gift shop owners are missing a huge opportunity here.

I’d love a place that charges me a fair price for that tube of Crest and also hands me a personally signed, pre-printed note card that says “We know staying here will never be like home, but we sure hope you feel like family while you’re with us.  Stop in again or speak with any of the staff if there is anything we can do to make you more comfortable during your stay. Thanks again, sleep tight.” Wow. That would be awesome. So awesome I’d probably be okay with the 8oz bag of trail mix for $8.99.